Limits, Bars + Ceilings
There are many people talking about pushing through limits and you can buy books about it and courses and hire coaches that will help you do that. But how do you know that you've arrived? Because visiting a place is not the same as living there.
If Identity is what you are (and it is), then in order to truly LIVE in a new identity you have to move in there, embrace it and call it home.
You have to become the person who is (fill in this really huge blank).
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Let's talk about body size and shape because that's a really potent illustration. Let's say that you didn't like your weight or body size. And let's say that you did a bunch of things to change that. Maybe you went on a strict diet or started going to the gym regularly or signed up for a program or hired a coach. Maybe you found an amazing supplement or went to the doctor and got some kind of medicine to help you. And over time you're looking in the mirror and you're really happy with what you're seeing. Your clothes fit differently and maybe you have a whole new wardrobe. The scale is finally agreeing with you. You walk a little bit taller and you feel better about yourself. All is right in the world 😊
Until one day something happens.
It could be something subtle like a few extra cookies or a weekend out with great food and drink. It could be a bunch of small things that lead to your clothes feeling a little tighter and you being a little bit less excited about looking in the mirror. Or it could be like somebody dropped a bomb on you or flipped a magic switch and all of a sudden the thought of going to the gym is abhorrent and you eat the entire junk food aisle of the grocery store in a week! it doesn't take too long before you're back to where you started or maybe even beyond that level and you're back to feeling pretty unhappy about who you are. Or who you have become because that wasn't who you were not too long ago. Right?
See the thing is you tried on that new identity. You visited paradise but you never really moved in there. Even if you thought you did it was really an extended vacation and you never really put down roots and fit in with the natives.
That's the difference between blowing the ceiling off your existence and simply pushing on it a bit.
Because here's the thing they don't tell you. There are people who have just as much trouble gaining weight as you do losing it. There are people with naturally defined muscles while other people simply can't lose that doughboy look. Part of it is genetics, but a big part of it is about your subconscious limits.
We know, that's hard to hear. Whether you've been dieting your whole life or trying to get ahead financially your whole life or whatever it is that you can't seem to conquer it seems like a hard and fast concrete limit that is completely immovable. But 90% of the time it's not. Instead it a problem of visiting versus actually moving into the new identity. Because once you're there... Once you really, truly live from that new YOU then you won't gain the weight back or you won't lose the lottery winnings or you won't lose all the progress you made. Because the new you is as foreign to the old you as the old you was to the new you before you moved to this neighborhood.
Really sit with that for a while and think about what it means and how much your life has been shaped by self imposed limits.
No answers today. Simply an invitation to ponder deeply and notice what insights come into your awareness.